If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
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Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
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Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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