Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
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Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
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You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
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