also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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