I can tuck mytits in my pants
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
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i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
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I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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