I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
we're chasing vodka with high fives
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
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We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
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Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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