I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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