need another drink. this is the easiest way
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
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