I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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