I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
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He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
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And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
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