Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize