My room smells like vodka and shame
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize