Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize