do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
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