well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize