some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize