I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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