I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
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