K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
My vagina just clenched in fear
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