I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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