You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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