Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Randomize