I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize