You're so nebulous sometimes
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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