but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
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