I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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