i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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