im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
They should really pass out barf bags in church
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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