I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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