can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
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