I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize