I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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