I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize