dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize