I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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