I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
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