I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
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This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
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My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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