i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize