they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
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I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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