Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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