Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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