Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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