Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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