i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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