I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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