I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Did I show you my penis last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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