Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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