the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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