he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
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