Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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