dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
vagina is talking i cant
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
My breasts were aching with rage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
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